Welcome to a piece of content that will not mention the c-word, nor describe anything as unprecedented. Except that is, for describing this unprecedented blog post of mine.
There’s no time like an economic crisis to a) start a side hustle and b) encourage people to buy things! So (legal jargon alert!) I’ve signed up to be a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Now on with the show. Here are 5 thingsI have and ordered from Amazon Prime make the monotony of life a little bit more interesting.
- A wooden tray desk, £32 (to further blur those blurry lines between weekday and weekend)
Reminiscent of 1950s school days, this sits on top of my actual desk to stave off scoliosis. I’ve customised mine with vandalism abstract doodlings of a wandering mind, using a biro and a compass, to really tap into that classroom nostalgia. The top can be pitched at an angle, easel style, for those rediscovering their artistic side. It also has a little drawer to hide stationery, secrets or snacks (no doubt you’ll at some point forget about the chocolate bar you stashed away and it will bring twice the measure of joy when you find it again). For weekends, it can be used for bed-based activities like watching Netflix or eating breakfast, due to the charmingly generous way it’s legs will skim your hips and thighs (Joe Wickes who?)
2. Blue light blocking glasses, £11 (because it’s less pretentious than the ones in UO which have zero function)
No one wants to think about their exponentially rising screen time, but it’s happening. But what if there was a way to combat the eye fatigue that blue light projects? Well there is, Kevin! I’ve been wearing fake glasses for a month now, and I can confirm I feel and look more intelligent (click here for #science). It also works wonders on conference calls, hiding those dehydrated eye bags and mascara free eyes.
3. A fancy water jug, £17, (because your Chilly’s is a sad reminder of a time when you were allowed to commute)
Water = increased productivity. So I suggest you mimic the serotonin spike from water cooler gossip with your work BFF with a different kind of thrill. Fill a sexy glass bottle with some fresh mint, lemon slices, or cucumber. Or all 3 at once. It will makes you feel like you’re at a spa, even if you haven’t showered for 4 days (guilty). Stay hydrated, kids.
I’m a vegetarian and a pacifist, but man alive those houseflies inviting themselves in just because my window is open is a fucking liberty. The way they bounce off imaginary boundaries to wrestle in the centre of my room is infuriating. So, I’m going to take their shit sport and raise them – electrocution tennis. Less messy than your regular fly swatter (this stuns rather than kills most of them) it will keep your reflexes sharp if you’re missing racquet sports.
5. Noise cancelling headphones, £37 (because I’m not paying 3 figures just to hear a sick bass )
Lockdown is amplifying everything – from emotions to the sounds your partner makes. Chewing, humming, typing, breathing. Although we work in different rooms, I can still hear my boyfriend clearing his throat through the wall in a really specific 3 beat rhythm. Every. Single. Time. These head phones help block it all out, particularly in addition to using Noisli, a brilliant white noise app that can transport you to cafes, forests, rivers, or even to transport itself.
Remy Millar 